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Vimaorthodoxias · Aug 15 View source View full article on hyper.nooz.ai

Μητροπολίτης Μεσσηνίας: Η Μητρότητα στην πυρηνική οικογένεια – Η γυναίκα ως μητέρα και σύζυγος - Βήμα Ορθοδοξίας

🌐 Quote shown in the original Greek — English translation below

Δανείζομαι την περιγραφή ενός γιού στο πώς βίωνε τις σχέσεις των γονέων του. «Συμπλήρωναν ο ένας τον άλλον. Η μητέρα μας ακολουθούσε τον πατέρα μας σε όλες του τις αποφάσεις, αλλά και ο πατέρας μας δεν μπορούσε να αποφασίσει χωρίς την μητέρα μας. Ήταν πάντοτε μαζί. Ο ένας για τον άλλον, αλλά μαζί και για τον πλησίον. Η μητέρα μας ζούσε σε απόλυτη αρμονία με τον αγαπητό της σύζυγο. Για τα παιδιά της ήταν μία γλυκειά και τρυφερή μητέρα, γιαγιά και προγιαγιά. Μεγάλοι και μικροί σαν σε μυθιστόρημα. Όλοι φιλοξενήθηκαν με εγκαρδιότητα και τιμή».

▲ For · conjugal harmony
Sentiment: positive

The son describes his parents' relationship as one of absolute harmony and mutual support.
🇬🇧 English translation

Metropolitan of Messenia: Motherhood in the Nuclear Family – The Woman as Mother and Wife - Vima Orthodoxias

Metropolitan of Messenia: Motherhood is perhaps the quietest and simultaneously the most powerful function within the family. It is not exhausted in the care of children, but becomes a way of life, of offering, of patience, and of love, which extends to the entire family and often transcends its boundaries.

By His Eminence the Metropolitan of Messenia, Chrysostomos Savvatos, Professor at the University of Athens

On the eve of the Dormition of the Mother of God, the figure of the Panagia (the Virgin Mary) reminds us exactly of this dimension of motherhood: the love that accompanies, supports, and remains close to a person at every moment of their life. In this light, the simple, everyday testimonies of people who have experienced such a family relationship take on special value.

I borrow the description of a son regarding how he experienced his parents' relationship. "They complemented one another. Our mother followed our father in all his decisions, but our father could not decide without our mother. They were always together. For each other, but also together for their neighbor. Our mother lived in absolute harmony with her beloved husband. To her children, she was a sweet and tender mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. Great and small, like in a novel. Everyone was hosted with warmth and honor."

This simple but essential description demonstrates that what we characterize as an "androgynous" relationship—that is, the relationship between a man and a woman in a common household—is defined by understanding and unity, not only of "flesh and blood" but also of works, actions, thoughts, decisions, deeds, and perceptions, since they serve a common purpose: the creation, development, and contribution to the micro-society of the members of a family. Conversely, if in this common household the man and the woman were in division and conflict, then nothing would progress; the household would remain stagnant, ungoverned, and in a poor state—as Saint John Chrysostom says, it would be an unnatural ship tossed by the waves.

Therefore, marital harmony, concord, unity, and cooperation are absolutely desirable and preferable as components of a continuous state of struggle and mutual containment. A dual struggle, subject to every form of power that seeks the sacrifice of others to satisfy individual views and preferences, yet focused on attaining the true meaning of coexistence and conjugality. In marriage, domineering power is an injustice, just as it is in the Church and in salvation through Christ. In marriage, there is reciprocity, equality, and a notable parity between spouses; therefore, they are simultaneously "homozugoi" (of one yoke/conjugal).

From this perspective, true and essential marriage is not a simple form of coexistence but a continuous and dynamic event, always with a positive trajectory, especially when it refers to human relationships and society.

In this balance of conjugal relationships, the woman, as mother and wife, is called to play an important role: to complement her husband in their common struggle for the vital care of their family, and to become a safe and stable assistant and partner to her husband.

I repeat the words of the description: "They complemented one another, one beside the other... the mother followed the father in all decisions, but the father could not decide without the mother."

This exact descriptive form of relationship constitutes the "mirror" of the woman as mother and wife, of the woman in her relationships toward her husband and toward her children.

A wife who cultivates society with her husband and simultaneously projects the model of society and relationship to her children is a structural element in what we characterize as family. The woman as a wife must cultivate prudence within the family and complement her husband; otherwise, problems of relationship and understanding will bring painful results.

The described way of life of spouses, let us admit, creates challenges in modern societies—unintentionally—because it is defined by mutual respect, sacrificial love, and equality in both their rights and their obligations. Saint Basil the Great characterizes this way as "loving power" and Saint John Damascene as "the power of love" and "an impulse toward the other." This "dynamis" constitutes the driving force so that the relationships between spouses, man and woman, may bear fruit at every level of life and constitute true coexistence.

Equality, parity, and mutual respect do not allow greed or folly to enter between spouses, while prudence and moderation are essential elements between spouses, not only for fundamental decisions but also for the current needs of daily life.

This equality as mutual containment does not constitute a "struggle for claims," but rather the voluntary renunciation of each person, as the case may be, in favor of the common good. Furthermore, it is not examined legally in relation to the satisfaction of our individual rights, since essentially equality and prudence, moderation, and conjugality are an exercise and a test of one's freedom regarding the other—that is, whether one respects and accepts the other and does not use them in terms of their body or their spiritual and psychological functions. This is why Saint John Chrysostom, in his discourses on "lawful marriage," attributes and recognizes a primary role to the wife, referring to the cultivation of prudence and moderation within the family.

Similarly are the functions of the woman as a mother, without being differentiated from her ministries as a wife. Two roles in one person, "two sides of the same coin."

It is known that the concept of marriage and conjugality includes within it the relationship of the mother-wife toward the children, whose role is not limited only to the matter of "rearing"—since both parents strive in this work—but primarily in the way of developing the child as a complete psychosomatic personality, through the modeling of the correct role of the mother as a woman and the father as a man. For this reason, no act of adoption (procreation/child-rearing) between same-sex couples, no matter how democratic and rights-based it may sound, can in practice be accepted, at least by the Church, since the roles of the two parents-spouses, man and woman, are complementary and mutually containing in relation to their children.

This relationship of mother-wife and children is a relationship of life. It begins from the moment of conception, and on this basis, all other functional relationships are defined as acts of coexistence. The mother offers her entire biological substance and existence for the conception and development of her child, and the result is a companionate coexistence for a common period of life, where the mother's life depends on the life of the developing embryo, just as the life of the embryo decisively depends on the life of its mother.

However, the father has also contributed to this relationship; therefore, for him as well, the relationship of father, mother, and embryo is a complementary and mutually containing relationship of life. This special vital relationship of father, mother, and embryo creates obligations and rights for both the parents and the embryo. No factor or any other cause can decide on the termination of this vital relationship. In this logic, I consider the reaction and the refusal of the Orthodox Church to accept abortion to be justified, when the act of terminating pregnancy, which entails the termination of the life of the embryo, is done for the purpose of the unilateral satisfaction of the so-called individual rights of each parent, the family environment, or some other social cause. On this basis, the issue of abortion is not only legal but primarily existential and a matter of ontology within the framework of the relationships between parents and the embryo.

Thus, there is yet another reason why every form of adoption, especially between same-sex couples as child-rearing, is not "compatible" with this fact of life; because life itself is a matter of relationships, contribution, and coexistence in every phase of vital development, and is not understood only as a momentary event or as an expression or state of individual survival, independent of the lives of others (primarily the parents), or merely as a fact of biological and natural conception, nor, of course, as an expression of social sensitivity.

This relationship of life between parents and children continues even after the birth of the children "until the end," and their role is not exhausted only in the biological development and maintenance of the children, but also in their spiritual and psychological integration.

If, then, the role of the woman as mother and wife is so important—and it truly is—I wonder what use every form of modern feminist movement or the development of a modern "feminist theology" serves. I believe they serve no purpose at all. They constitute merely a substitute for social prestige, which comes to emphasize, "on the surface," the distinction of the woman's gender from that of the man. Nature itself has given this distinction of gender primarily regarding its functionality—to be a wife and a spouse, a nourisher and a mother—and not as a matter of rights. The terms "mother" and "matriarch" imply exactly this:

The functionality of motherhood as an expression of continuous "nourishment" and "maintenance," and its contribution to the development of her children, as a continuous intra-familial and social rebirth.

Motherhood is not a quality but a charismatic function of the female nature. It is a structural factor of the family; it becomes the causal connection for progress and prosperity, and for this reason, its social contribution is not exhausted in roles defined only by reproductive function, but also by its role as a significant factor of development within the family environment itself.

The author of the Book of Proverbs (31:10-28) describes the "essence" of the true woman, as mother and wife, whom he considers incomparably more precious than the most valuable stones. This narrative reference of the Proverbist confirms her essential role within the family and her excellence as a mother and wife—qualities and functions through which her rights are also honored. Meanwhile, her sought-after "liberation" will certainly lead to the dissolution and fragmentation, not only of the family but of society in general, because true freedom does not mean an absence of commitments and restrictions, but cooperation and synergy in a dynamic creativity, with the development and maintenance of a relationship where each part is mutually containing and complementary, so that their works and pursuits as parents have the appropriate purpose.

Otherwise, we are led to an intra-familial lawlessness, which entails its dissolution.

From this perspective, the traditional nuclear family becomes an institutional way of survival and development, because in this way, extreme egocentrism and competition cannot enter, and marriage, as a fact of relationship and society, is not transformed into a consumer good but a means of overcoming various problems and dysfunctions, which are resolved through patience and understanding. After all, with the participation of both parents, father and mother, as models in a family, the guarantees required for the formation of a balanced personality in their children are provided regarding their upbringing.

In the modern era of postmodernity, however, even in the nuclear family, motherhood is being challenged. The targeting of parents in general, the father and the mother, entails a stance of stagnation, as responsibility and self-sacrifice are weakened, and the upbringing of children is transformed from an act of creativity into a "burden," a fact which leads very easily to the replacement of child-rearing with "companion pets" as a substitute for so-called equivalent relationships and a way of life.

A similar problem appears in alternative or inclusive forms of coexistence, which, however, cannot claim or seek the characterization of "family." Indeed, the principle that "all family models are equal and toward the nuclear family" relativizes "fundamental roles" and weakens the very functionality of motherhood. However, we must know that if the nuclear family is dissolved due to modernization, there will be no other factor, essential and necessary, to prevent human society from becoming desolate psychologically, ontologically, and functionally, even if the perception has prevailed that the continuity of life is merely a coincidental or conventional state of individual pleasures or chosen structures.

It is therefore necessary to protect motherhood if we want the essentially nuclear family to function beneficially within Greek society.

As long as the woman excels in the functionality of her female nature, as mother and wife, so too does her excellence have its positive imprint on her family and our society. Only then will there be hope that we will not only achieve the transformation and fulfillment of our daily life, which so often seems empty and unmanageable to us, but simultaneously that we will be able to fulfill the reason for which we were born, raised, and are now on this earth, in a continuous journey of prosperous cultivation, balanced development, universal progress, and prosperity "until the end."

Kalamata, 14-8-2026

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